MAY

23.
Palestinian/Cuban.
Big city lights, Cliffs, Boulders and Rock faces.
The real world that no one told you about as a kid.

Most nights

Most nights I wish I could feel like I could conquer the world. I wish certain things in my past never happened the way that they did. I wish things would unfold easier for me and karma wouldn’t be such a bitch to me. I honestly wish that I knew why I felt so low about myself. I constantly feel like I am not enough for anything. I have no job still, i feel insecure around my boyfriend and my family is upset about my decisions. I wish I could wake up every morning and say “fuck you bitches” to every single girl out there that makes me feel like I dont have it together, or that I am physically not pretty enough. Talking to my boyfriend last night made me realize everything that I really wanted. I want to be the person that has it together and right now, my world keeps falling apart. 

Late night thoughts :

Honestly, if I could change one thing about myself it would be my insecurity of trusting. I thought about it the other night and I found that I havn’t been able to trust many people in my life. Honestly, I haven’t been able to trust anyone other than my best friends… I wish I was never like this. It has ruined every single relationship that I have ever been in, and continues on in my current one. I don’t understand why I  have such a big issue… All I know is that I need to get over this immediately before it ruins this one too..